It was a freezing January day, and I found myself hurrying down Baker Street in London, eager and yet nervous. Today was the day when I would start recording the audiobook of ‘Pull Back Your Power’. Now, it is absolutely true that I have done more webinars than I can remember, and recorded so many meditations and subconscious healings that I can do them in my sleep (well almost!). But this was different.
The most stressful, agonising and awful experiences for me at school were in English lessons. Could I do English on paper. Absolutely! Could I read aloud? Not if my life depended on it. I dreaded the moment that the teacher picked on me and made me stand up and stumble through some Shakespeare or poetry. It just was not me. I could not have felt more awkward about anything. A living hell. Public humiliation! Oh my goodness, I still feel queasy just thinking about it.
What’s more this was made rather worse by the fact that my mum, Ruth (to whom the book is dedicated), is absolutely brilliant at such things, and indeed acted with Graham Chapman of Monty Python fame! However, those talents did not get passed on to me alas.
But I couldn’t possibly let anyone else narrate my book – my story – my discoveries – my humiliations – my life’s work! I had considered getting someone professional to do it. Then I looked again at the first paragraph “Once upon a time, a girl called Grace went out into the world…” It simply had to be my voice. There was no other way. I would have to put all my school horrors behind me and just do it.
So, as Angus the friendly producer settled me into the recording room and wired everything up, I told myself that this would be fine – more than fine – well as good as I could possibly make it.
I felt the nerves in my stomach as I opened my mouth for the first few words. What if I stammered? What if I couldn’t get coherently through a sentence? But, you know, after the first few page it just began to flow. These were my words. The truest words with the most meaning of any I had ever written. Reading my book was fantastic. I loved doing it.
The very last part – the interview with the author (me) – was the hardest bit. This is where I talk about losing my daughter, and how that became the driving force for the book, the mission and everything really. I even managed to get that in one take. Angus was so sweet – he told me to take as much time as I needed with that bit. Bless him!
Oh my goodness! I have never done anything so concentrated and so exhausted before. 50000 words in total. I actually managed to finish the whole thing in 9 hours. You have no idea the feeling of achievement when I finally said those last words.
As I walked back to St Pancras station the following afternoon, feeling utterly drained, yet absolutely elated, I know I’ve done a good job, and that I have communicated what I truly desired to give through my book. And it is my voice. My true voice.
I hope you enjoy it!