THE Biggest Mistake That Keeps Women Like You, Lonely, Insecure & Unloved!

You compare your new man with your Ex, and your new relationship with your failed ones.

When you are starting a new relationship, you are sensitive, vulnerable and all your senses

You deserve this, right?  Of course you do!

You deserve this, right? Of course you do!

are heightened  – and so are his, whether this shows on the surface or not.  This means that you are both highly tuned to picking up subtle energies and intuitive messages from each other.

If you’ve been hurt in the past – perhaps your last man cheated on you, left you, lied to you, abused you or just wasn’t capable of making a commitment.  Regardless of the reason why your last relationship failed, part of your mind remains in that pain and trauma trying to analyse and rationalise the experience.  This isn’t something we do consciously, it’s just how our subconscious mind works.

When your mind starts comparing the new with the old – asking whether you can possibly trust again, whether he will be faithful, whether he will be dependable – this triggers the trauma of the past and brings fear into the present.

Your new man will feel this doubt and fear on some level.  Frankly, it’s like a poison which will undermine your new relationship before it even gets going.

So, what can you do about this?

The way to bring yourself out of this trap is to understand what your subconscious is really doing.  So, let’s put ourselves into your subconscious mind now and work out what’s happening!

You have had a painful experience in your past.  Your mind is still hurting from this experience and terrified of it happening again.  So, it locks itself into the past to try to work out what it has learnt.  Your subconscious believes that it must learn from the past in order to prevent it happening again.

Now, most people go wrong in this because they look at the negative lessons.  This doesn’t free you from the past.  Instead you need to  look for the POSITIVE LESSONS.  Yes, I know it sounds bizarre, but this is the way to bring yourself out of the past trauma and pain.  The subconscious learns the highest truth by experiencing the opposite.  If you understand this, you can use this knowledge to stop your past poisoning your future.

Instead of dwelling on what was wrong with your last man, think instead about what that experience has taught you.  What positive things have you learnt from that man’s bad example?  How should a man behave?  How should the father of your children behave? What have you learnt about the sort of relationship you want?  What about the sort of relationship you deserve?

Do you need to be cheated on over and over again to learn that you deserve a loyal faithful partner? Do you need to have a succession of abusive partners to learn how a relationship between a man and woman should be – based on mutual love, support, respect and fun?  Do you and your children need to be abandoned to learn that a real man always shoulders his responsibilities?

Of course you don’t!  When you put it like this, it sounds obvious doesn’t it.  The trouble is that the subconscious tends to get stuck in its own agenda and doesn’t realise it is sabotaging the future you want for yourself.  Consciously, you can be the most optimistic person in the world, but your subconscious probably won’t be taking any notice.  That’s the way it is.  However, understanding is power, and you can do something about this when you understand.

So think about your past relationship now.  Ask yourself these questions:

  1. How did my ex’s behaviour fall short?  How should he have behaved? What would an ideal man have done in that situation?
  2. What was that relationship like?  Did it fulfil what I need in terms of support, love, fidelity, commitment etc?
  3. How did that relationship make me feel in terms of my self-worth and value?  What is my real value?
  4. What qualities have become stronger in me by going through that experience?  Am I stronger now, more sensitive to others, more understanding, more independent?

Ok, so having done this, you should have a nice list of things.  You should have things there about the highest definition of a relationship. Highest understanding about how a man should behave towards a woman and towards children, whether they are his or not.  You should have an understanding that you deserve nothing but the best in a relationship.  You should understand that you don’t need to compromise or take second best because you are an amazing women with a lot to offer.  You should realise that even though you have suffered in the past, those experiences has made you a stronger and wiser person.

Now all this is the higher wisdom your subconscious wants to learn.  Remember, once you’ve learnt something, you have that wisdom for ever.  You don’t have to keep on learning the same lesson over and over again if the wisdom is the same!   If you’ve learnt to speak French, you don’t have to keep taking the exam every time you want to order a bottle of vin rouge on holiday!  Having been through these experiences once, you now have all of that wisdom.  It’s learnt, finished and completed.  Don’t waste your life repeating those lessons.

Right, so you’re now going to bring your subconscious round to your way of thinking.

So, now close your eyes, focus in your heart for a moment and just tell your subconscious that you now know all of this wisdom. You’ve learnt those things, and staying locked in your past relationships is going to do nothing except sabotage the future and have you repeating the same patterns.  Tell yourself that you now have all that wisdom – be specific and tell your mind what you have learnt –  and also that you don’t need to keep repeating those bad relationships to keep learning.  Frankly, that’s one huge waste of time!!  Just imagine that wisdom like a warm golden energy, soaking deep into your mind, and imagine all those lessons being marked as completed and finished.  Then tell your subconscious that there’s no need to stay in the past any longer, and no need to repeat the same negative experiences. It has all the wisdom it needed. That’s all over now.

Repeat this process every day for at least four weeks.  This way, the new way of thinking will become imprinted into your mind, and will become natural  and automatic for you.  When this is done, you will begin to move forwards with your life, taking with you the positive wisdom, but leaving behind the sabotaging baggage!

Remember, when your mind stops dwelling on the past, the subtle messages you put out will change.  Instead of poisoning future relationships with doubt, insecurity and fear, you’ll go into a relationship with a more positive and open outlook.  You will be open to the fact that men aren’t all bad, they are just people.  There are good, loving, responsible, faithful and committed men out there, and you deserve a relationship with someone like that!

You deserve all this in your now, so don’t let your past get in the way.  Instead use that past to become wise and create the future you really want.


Life Alchemy Blog

Dec 21st 2012 – The New World!

So we’re finally here – Winter Solstice 2012.  We’ve turned the corner and we’re moving into a new world. This isn’t a switch from one extreme to another.  We’ve been working through this transition for years as you’re probably aware.  However, now would be a good moment to reflect on just how much things have changed over the last twenty years. When I consciously started my spiritual journey over a decade ago, I felt isolated, a freak even! Nobody I knew understood anything I was doing or experiencing.  Nowadays however, in my work as a ThetaHealing Teacher, I see people who are spiritually awakened on a daily basis.  No longer are we the lone pioneers; this energy has filtered into the group consciousness and is becoming the norm.

We used to believe that things were what they were, and we were stuck with it.  We judged, we reacted, and we believed we were victims of our circumstances and stories. Over the last few years, this viewpoint has been turned on its head.  Amazing healing modalities have been born that can free us from those old patterns permanently.   We now

thoughtsunderstand energy in a completely different way.  If things aren’t the way we want them in our life, we have these phenomenal tools and with them the power to change the underlying energy and change our experience of life. We can clear those past traumas and limiting programmes, and move forward, taking only the positive wisdom with us.  No longer are we forced to hold on to those lower vibrations of resentment, judgement and anger; condemned to repeat the same patterns over and over again. Finally, we have the opportunity to be truly free and become all of which we are capable.

Do you remember all the fear and panic as we moved into the year 2000 and the dreaded Y2K bug threatened to destroy civilization – so much irrational fear overwhelming the group consciousness? Then today, to my utter astonishment, I hear on the Classic FM radio, discussion and comment on the new age of spiritual awakening starting with this momentous date. For those of you who aren’t from the UK, this is a mainstream national radio station.  My first reaction was complete surprise, but after a couple of minutes I realised this is simply a sign of how things have shifted.  It shows us how these spiritual concepts, which used to feel out on the fringe, have subtly crept into the group energy. We really have moved light-years away from that locked state of judgement and fear that used to hold us back so much.

…and what do we do now?  Well that’s simple.  Our goal is to live, be and exist in a vibration of pure and unconditional love. Any lower vibrations are poisonous to us, undermining our connection to All That Is, undermining our health, our well-being, our joy and our abundance.  With our new understanding and our new tools, we no longer have to believe what we think.  We now have the awareness to stop ourselves when an energy of resentment, hatred or bitterness threatens to sabotage our journey forward. All these old patterns are simply energies which can be changed. We can choose to release those old limitations and aspire to that highest of loving vibrations.

So, don’t just believe what you think. What you think is the result of the base programming of your mind. Instead be alert to what you think, and use that to pinpoint the work you need to do on yourself to release your limiting past and patterns.

This winter solstice marks the tipping point. The transition will continue and these loving energies will continue to grow within the group consciousness. Each one of us that commits to moving forward in this energy will contribute to that transition.  Let’s do this now and together.

Wishing you a peaceful and loving 2013,


Make Your Day! The Daily Healing App

Do you need a bit of daily healing in your life?  My new App could be just the thing.  “Make Your Day”  gives you a healing message every day of the year, empowered with ThetaHealing, to keep your vibration positive and harmonious.

Don’t let life get you down.  Instead make your life what you want it to be, one day at a time!

CLICK HERE to find out more🙂


The 2nd Biggest Mistake That Keeps Women Like You Lonely, Insecure and Unloved

You don’t nurture and love yourself.

Deep down, do you believe that you’re worthless, unattractive and inadequate?  Are you constantly comparing yourself unfavourably to other women?  Do you spend too much time worrying about what other people think of you?

Even though you may not be aware that you feel this way, on the subconscious level, these beliefs about yourself are putting out a very strong message which will be picked up by people around you.  Are you going through your life unconsciously telling everyone you meet that you are worthless?  If you are, then that is how people will perceive you. That is how men will perceive you!  Ask yourself now, would you like to change this?

Worrying about what everyone thinks of you is counter-productive.  This will just continue to lower your feelings of self-worth and make things worse.

Here is the key – forget about everyone else and start loving yourself – and I mean really loving yourself because you actually deserve it!  Listen to your feelings and your body. Make enough time to look after yourself, unwind and pamper yourself. Even if you are a busy mother, career woman or both, you can do this.  It doesn’t take a lot of time or a lot of money.  Everyone can find 10 minutes here and there to honour themselves if they believe they are truly worth this attention.

However, this is far more than just giving yourself time for a bubble-bath or having your nails done.  Every time you nurture yourself you are retraining your mind on the deepest level. You are beginning to dissolve those old beliefs that said you were worthless, and replace them with programmes about your value.  Little by little, your energy will change. Instead of putting out that message of inadequacy and worthlessness, this will shift to a message of self-respect and value.

When you love and nurture yourself, you become stronger on every single level and harmony returns to all areas of your life.  When you love yourself, you’ll begin to attract love from others.

Remember, it is not selfish to look after and love yourself. Your children, friends and family will feel the benefits too when you radiate harmony and love instead of stress and exhaustion!

Think what your life will be like when you give out the beautiful message that you deserve love and respect.  How will things be different when everyone you meet feels that energy as soon as they meet you?  Think how that will change your relationships!

Start loving yourself.  It’s easier than you think, and you deserve it.

In the next post, I’ll give some healing you can use to kick-start this change for you, so watch this space.🙂


Life Alchemy Blog

Learn to Avoid the 3rd Biggest Mistake That Keeps Women Like You Alone, Insecure and Unloved.

So, last time you learnt about the third biggest mistake that keeps women alone and unloved.  Well here are a couple of exercises you can do to get yourself out of this trap.  The trick with these is to do them regularly.  The more you do them, the more powerfully you will reprogramme your mind, and the more the energy you put out into the world will change.

Exercise #1 – Become Authentically You
Close your eyes and focus into your heart.  Breathe gently and imagine your heart energy growing stronger and stronger with each breath.  Now ask yourself honestly, where in your life are you not being true to yourself? Where in your life are you being artificial or hiding your true self from others? Are you trying to be someone who isn’t you? Are you behaving as others expect rather than as you wish? Are you going against the direction your heart wants? Are you fixated on a part of your body which you hate? The answers may come to you immediately, or they may come over the next few days. Whenever you become aware of something, decide what you are going to do to come back to your true authentic self in that situation.  Each step you take towards being in tune with your heart energy and honouring yourself will allow more of your inner beauty to shine out into your life.

Exercise #2 – Find Your Inner Beauty
Take a piece of paper and write down at least one hundred qualities, accomplishments or gifts you like about yourself. Yes, you can do this!  When you’ve finished sit with the list for a while and focus on all that wonderful energy.  Then imagine it as a beautiful ball of golden light. Close your eyes, and breathe that energy into your body, feeling it fill your heart and then every cell of your body. Tell yourself, “I am beautiful and wonderful just as I am.” at least twenty times.  Repeat every day for a month to train your mind.

When you truly take on board the fact that you are a beautiful and wonderful human being, this energy will radiate out to others.  There is nothing more attractive than someone who truly accepts themselves for who they are. By doing this, you will stop attracting shallow or self-centred men, and instead bring sincere and worthwhile men into your life.

Accept that you are wonderful just as you are, and you avoid the first mistake that keeps women like you alone, insecure and unloved.

In the next post you’ll learn the second biggest mistake that keeps women like you alone, insecure and unloved.

The 3rd Biggest Mistake That Keeps Women Like You Alone, Insecure and Unloved!

You Try To Hide or Change Yourself

It’s time to be honest!  Take a few quiet moments, and think about yourself now.

Do you feel attractive and desirable? Do you think people find you interesting? Are you fun to be with? What about your other qualities? Do you feel intelligent?  What gifts and talents do you have? Are you caring and compassionate?  Do people think of you as confident? Amusing? Beautiful?

In other words, do you consider yourself a ‘good catch’?

If you are like the majority of women, you will automatically cringe inside when you ask yourself these questions. Nearly all of us have enormous insecurities about our appearance, our value and our abilities, or all three. If you’re anything like me, you have felt at one time or another that almost every other woman is better than you in some way.

I’m not going to beat about the bush here….

You do not have an accurate view of yourself at all!

The trouble is that these insecurities are held on a very deep level of our minds and have come from conditioning throughout our lives, and are often even inherited. Perhaps your insecurities came from comments by your parents, perhaps you compared yourself with a sister, perhaps the children at school teased you, perhaps your ex-partner told you to lose weight?

Whatever the source of your negative thoughts about yourself, part of you will probably believe that if only you were prettier, slimmer, cleverer, younger, more amusing, more outgoing, more…..etc. etc. then everything would be better and you’d attract a wonderful partner into your life.  However, while you are just ‘you’ being flawed and inadequate as you are, you’ll have to settle for whatever comes along.

The solution:  your subconscious tells you that you need to change parts of yourself in order to be acceptable.

If any of this rings true to you, then you need to be aware of this fact and the adverse effect if has on you and your chances of finding lasting happiness.

Here is the actual truth – you are a wonderful, unique and beautiful individual with many gifts, talents and a lot of love to offer another human being.

Ok, so what’s the point of all this?  Well, it’s all about INNER BEAUTY.  Your inner beauty is the true essence of who you are. When you are in tune with your inner beauty and let that shine out into the world, other people will respond to it.  Your inner beauty is centred around your heart energy: the love centre of your being.  When you allow people to see the beauty within your heart they will see the real you, they will appreciate the uniqueness and the combination of qualities that makes you special. This is the beauty which attracts true love and closeness into your life.

Let me explain this another way.  Think of yourself like a stunning mediaeval tapestry – each thread in the tapestry represents an experience, a characteristic, a gift, a feeling or a memory.  Now have a look at the individual threads in your tapestry. Probably some of these threads are prettier than others when taken in isolation. Perhaps some of the characteristics are seen as weaknesses.  Perhaps some of the experiences were painful. However, when you weave them all together they form a beautiful picture.

This is the picture of you – you as you are today – a unique picture with each thread, with each experience and each characteristic, being absolutely essential.  If you try to change individual threads, all you’ll do is destroy the picture. If you accept that each is simply part of who you are, you understand that each in its way is perfect because the overall picture is perfect.  Of course, you can grow and develop further as you move along your life path, but today, you are exactly where you need to be, and are exactly who you need to be.

Each time you try to deny a part of yourself, you are muddying the beautiful picture that is already you.  By doing this, you are denying your inner beauty and blocking others from seeing it.

When you block your inner beauty, people won’t see the magic within you. Instead they’ll feel that something is awkward, artificial, uncomfortable or insincere. In this situation, you may very well end up attracting men who are only interested in your physical attributes, or worst still only interested in themselves!

So, to avoid falling into this trap, you need to get in touch with the authentic you, and find that inner beauty.

In the next post, I’ll be giving you some exercises and healing which will help you remove those masks, and get in touch with your inner beauty.

Anne Whitehouse
Life Alchemy Blog

The Three Biggest Mistakes That Keep Women Alone, Insecure and Unloved, and How You Can Avoid Them!

Are you one of the many women who has failed or unhappy relationships?  
Are you terrified of being alone and unloved forever?  
Are you worried that you’ll never be able to leave the pain of past relationships behind you?
Do you feel inadequate, unattractive and unable to trust now?
Perhaps your friend or sister is in this situation?
When you’ve been let down, rejected or abandoned, the emotional scars go very deep. Part of you keeps reliving your past failures over and over again, and this undermines every new relationship before it even starts.  If you don’t break out of this vicious cycle, you’ll never really be able to trust anyone again.   The sad truth is that wiithout trust, there can’t be a true love.

The result – you end up either repeating the same pattern, or you shut yourself off from love to keep yourself safe.  Either way, you aren’t going to have love, security and commitment in your life.

Did you realise that there are three big mistakes that women make, again and again, which are preventing them from finding lasting happiness and security?
In the next posts, I’ll be looking at these three mistakes with you, and will be showing you how you can avoid falling into this trap in your own life.
Watch this space!

Heart Energy, Consciousness and Life: What Are You Missing?

Are you really experiencing your life? Are you really present with each moment? On the other hand, perhaps your body goes through each day, performing tasks and interacting with people while your mind is somewhere else entirely?  Do you spend your days dwelling on the past, thinking about the future or just imaging you were somewhere else? I know that I spent years being absent from my life. I didn’t realise this at the time of course, I was simply not engaging in the actual experiences I was living. What a waste! So, what does true consciousness feel like? Here is a very simple exercise which will bring you into the present, and infuse your life with the wonderful high vibration energies of love. Next time you are doing a mundane task – perhaps folding the laundry, dressing your child or cleaning the house – do this exercise. Normally, you would let your mind wander, and perform such a task on auto-pilot. This time, take your thoughts to a person you love, if possible the person you’re doing the task for.  Think about how much you love them.  Don’t just think about it, FEEL IT.   As you do this, the energy in your heart will begin to grow stronger and stronger. Keep feeling your love for that person as you continue with your task. Now begin to put that love into what you are doing. Make the quality of your work match your feelings for them. Immediately you will come into the present moment.  You will be aware of each movement of your hand and each action, and as you do this, there will be care and love in the task. Instead of coasting, you are now engaged and totally present. Not only does this bring you into the present moment, it also expands your heart energy enormously. This energy raises your vibration, clears negativity, and affects the world around you in a tangible and positive way. If you want to make the lives of those around you better, and your own of course, bringing yourself into your heart energy and infusing it into everything you do, is an essential and wonderfully powerful step. Several times a day, bring this love consciousness into your living, and feel the vibration of your world change.  Harmony will return to your relationships and stress levels will go down.  The more you do it, the more you will become truly conscious in your life and the more you will experience the beauty of the world around you.

Anne Whitehouse
Life Alchemy Blog 

2012 – Our Ultimate Opportunity!

So, here we are, finally stepping into 2012 – the year that people have talked about for so long.  What does this really mean for us all?

Some people say that this will bring in the age of the angels.  Others say that we will all shift to another dimension. Some people are already jumping on the band-wagon of fear and saying that the end is nigh!  The options are diverse and bewildering.

I believe that this year is offering us an amazing opportunity to bring about positive changes on a global scale, and you and I have an active part to play in making this a reality. We must seize that opportunity and act on it now.

Why is this?

We are all connected energetically, and the energy of our thoughts not only influences how we feel, but is also the basis of the world we manifest around us.

You may look around at the drastic change, suffering and conflict in the world, and feel anxiety and fear for the future. What if millions of people do this as well?  The result is a huge field of fear in the group consciousness of the planet, which will negatively affect other people, lower everyone’s vibration and result in manifesting yet more conflict and suffering. It can be a vicious spiral.

Once you understand this, you can do something about it.  You can choose to recognise group consciousness fear for what it is – simply a shared energy pattern.  You can also choose to ignore it and replace it with a better energy. You can stop that negative spiral in its tracks and transform it into a positive one instead.

The publicity about 2012 has had one tangible effect; it has made many people open to change this year.  Even if people think it is all rubbish consciously, there is likely to be an underlying subconscious programme which will expect change. If these people feel overwhelming positive vibrations coming to them from the group consciousness, instead of fear, think what a difference this could make!

You and I, who are dedicated to bringing positive energies into the world, have both the power and the responsibility to dispel fear and negativity from the group consciousness. Whether you use Reiki, Metatronics, positive intention, prayer, affirmations, ThetaHealing or any other modality or system of increasing positivity and love, you need to use these things as never before.

Let’s seize the initiative this year, and step up to the challenge.  Let’s make a commitment to reach out with our positivity to more people than ever before through the energetic connection we all share.

This could be the year we tip the balance and really bring in that peace people have been dreaming of for so long!

Anne Whitehouse

Develop Your Sensitivity

The more you begin to use subtle energies to help yourself and your family, the more sensitive you will become.  After a while you will find that you can feel the energy easily. This is an enormous advantage because you can then scan the person you are healing and feel where they need energy, where there are blocks or where there is negative energy which needs to be taken off. Don’t think about these things yet, though, at the moment you just want to feel the energy.

Everyone’s bodies have major energy centres, known as Chakras along the centre of the body. Any blockages or negative energy will feel different to an area of the body where the energy is flowing healthily. With a little practice you will be able to feel these things easily.

Your hands are naturally extremely sensitive, and you can easily train them to pick up subtle energies, just as they easily detect heat and coldness already. When I first started healing, I had just got to the stage where if I held a crystal, I could feel a very slight tingling in my hand. This was the start of such sensitivity, although I did not realise this at the time!

This exercise is one I teach to all my students. It is quick and easy.  If you have children, you can easily incorporate it into your bedtime routine, so it isn’t any effort.

  1. Start with making the connection with your heart energy as you have before. Just take a couple of moments to feel this connection.  The person you want to scan should be lying down, relaxing with their eyes closed. They can be covered with a blanket if they wish.
  2. You now need to close your eyes too.  This is because any visual input will distract you.
  3. Now take your non-dominant hand (i.e. your left hand if you are right handed) – your hand should be relaxed, not rigid – and position it over the heart of your patient about 4 inches above the surface of their body.
  4. Then very slowly begin to move your hand around, scanning from head to toe and side to side. Make sure you stay in the air above the body and do not actually touch.
  5. Now as you scan, imagine that you are LISTENING with your hand.  This is the best way to describe what you need to do. It’s just like straining your ears to hear a distant sound. Your hand has become an extremely sensitive listening device and you are listening for any changes in sensation. You may feel warmth or coolness, tingling. At this stage, all you are trying to sense are the DIFFERENCES in feeling.
  6. If you feel that healing is needed somewhere, simply stop your scan, and then intend that you send healing energy from your heart and the universe. Then feel or visualise the healing flowing into the person, and imagine them filled with sparkling white light. Remember, to ask their permission before you do this though. (If you are healing a very young child, this is not necessary.)

When you are relaxed and connected to your heart energy, you may well get other information as well. This means that you may just know where there is a block or health issue with someone’s body.

It can take a few weeks before you can pick up these sensations. That is normal if you are someone who has never tried doing anything like this before. Other people are astonished when they pick up the energies the very first time they try. However, absolutely everybody is capable of doing this.

Anne Whitehouse